Your Body of Knowledge

The Madden Rule

2009-10-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

Hey, did you know John Madden was born in Austin, MN? Anyway, I've always wondered what it was like to be so afraid of flying that you'd rather take a bus everywhere. I know, his bus is not the kind of bus I'd be on, but still, it seems really odd. He has said that the main reason is claustrophobia. But I digress.

This most recent Delta screw up has me wondering. Sure, it makes for great jokes, the term 'flyover country' is now official, blah blah blah, but it does seem like we've got more to complain about these days than just the peanuts or lost luggage. And what could a terrorist learn from such an incident? I'm not usually an alarmist, but it does make me wonder if I would ever join Madden someday. I can still hear the insults from my college roomies, one from California, the other from New York, but I think I'll join Franken instead, and start shouting from rooftops. This must be investigated from every possible angle, and those clowns piloting that plane should be filling potholes if you ask me.

Ok, I feel better now. Maybe that's the purpose of a good rant, eh?

Fun night at the velodrome

2009-07-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Won the MN State Keirin Championships last Thursday. I haven't been on top of the podium in quite a while, and it's something I'm glad some of my family could witness. Even nephew Owen was surprised, as he usually tells Grandma matter-of-factly 'Tom doesn't win.' So I'm glad I got that out of his system. Imagine having the coolest uncle in the world, but knowing he's never going to win a bicycle race! Such a conflict could ruin a child's life. But now that Owen knows his uncle can throw down, maybe he'll believe me when I continue to tell him how everything is possible.

The Human Condition

2009-06-28T17:19:00.000-07:00

Massage can do wonders. It has been documented for thousands of years. I believe in it, and my clients believe in it. But we occasionally fall prey to the imagination and the never-ending quest for perfection. 'When will we get rid of this?' or 'Will there ever come a day when I feel no pain?' are some questions I cannot answer, not without smirking anyway. 'The day you feel nothing is what you should fear,' I might say to my more realistic clients.

And they know what I mean, but I agree, we'd all like to get through life without any pain. That would be perfect, wouldn't it? But attaining perfection and striving for it are two different things. I believe in the pursuit of happiness, but I don't expect it constantly. In fact, I think that constantly dreaming of perfection can make our reality seem woefully inadequate. I'd rather be striving for perfection, rather than distraught over not attaining it.

Twenty years ago, massage stopped my migraines. But if I don't continue massage and postural maintenance, I'm pretty sure the migraines would return. Not a perfect cure, but if you've ever had migraines, you'll take what you can get. So I urge those of you who aren't happy to get a massage, and think of it as a dose of happiness. It's all about the pursuit.

DirecTV Doubles Referral Cash

2009-04-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

Body of Knowledge has been offering an hour of free massage for those who use referral code 21402243 when signing up for DirecTV service. But now that DirecTV has doubled the cash ($100 instead of $50), Body of Knowledge will now match the new offer with 2 free hours of massage.

How's that for a stimulus?

Special Thanks

2009-04-07T10:18:00.000-07:00

Here we go - another road cycling season is upon us. For whatever activity you are planning this season, make sure you take care of your body. And think about those who've helped you along the way. I'd also like to thank my grateful clients!

Cold Fusion, Cold Case Warming Up

2009-02-12T12:33:00.000-08:00

Being a physics phlunky, I've been watching the progress of Low Energy Nuclear Reaction research ever since the big announcement 20 years ago about the discovery of 'cold fusion.' A lot has happened, or not happened, since then. We all have a stake in finding better sources of energy, but it appears some believe they have more of a stake than others. All the usual arguments and turf wars have followed the first announcement, but a very disturbing event involving Eugene Mallove, a physicist and eloquent trumpeter of things to come through the publication Infinite Energy, occured in 2004. He was found beaten to death. It always smelled fishy, and now the case is taking on new life as the original two suspects could not be linked to the crime. A $50,000 reward is now being offered for information, and the case is being worked 'full time.' Now that smells like progress.

You can always add more power...

2009-01-20T04:05:00.000-08:00

...if you don't mind the occasional broken bone or pulled muscle! It's true, there are athletes who treat their bodies like race cars, thinking they just need to increase power and reduce weight to get optimum results. While those are two factors to be concerned with, cycling (and many other sports) requires a certain amount of neuromuscular timing to get the job done. All this means is that all cylinders need to be firing at their respective optimums to produce peak output. (Did you catch that? For some reason I'm trying to appeal to the motorheads.) If you are using four muscles for a movement, but one is a bit tight, it will decrease the effectiveness of the others. Well toned muscles require less energy to move through their range of motion. For example, riding a bike with a rusty chain may get you where you want to go, but you're doing more work. Why not just oil the chain? With muscles and other soft tissues, this is done by increasing circulation. Massage and proper stretching facilitate increased circulation, as well as increased range of motion.

There are a few studies claiming that stretching decreases power. First of all they overuse a poor form of stretching (holding stretches for an excessive and arbitrary length of time, and secondly, they do it immediately before testing the muscle for power. There is no time allowed for reinnervation! Taking these errors into consideration, I would also guess most of the studies focus on classically overstretched tissue as opposed to lengthening the contracted tissue. But enough of that. Do your own study; let me show you how easing tension in the right spots can help your performance in whatever sport you choose.

I don't like blogs

2008-12-28T21:51:00.000-08:00

So there.

Open Your Eyes

2008-10-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Whether or not you believe blind people make better massage therapists, it appears we have another fine example of over-protective legislation causing trouble when it becomes outdated.

ooops

2008-07-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

I accidentally deleted a voicemail message from someone affiliated with Park Nicollet Health Services. It was left on Tuesday the 22nd, around 1:00 pm. I didn't get to hear it, and only have Park Nicollet's general phone number on my caller id, so I'm posting this in case they read my blog. Talk about a snowball's chance...

NVGP

2008-06-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

Whew! NVGP had a rough start this year with that storm during the St Paul criterium, but with six stages, a race this great can afford one messed up stage.

Super-Rookie deserves some credit for matching me up with the ValueAct Capital team, led by Lisa Hunt. I have provided massage services to NVGP teams in the past, but I've never been in a full soigneur role. This year I decided to take on that role, and see what is was all about.

At first, I knew it would be a little tough for me to jump in and be a vocal member of a team, as I'm used to operating my own business, and rarely have to confer with anyone else about decisions, except the one client on the table of course. So it was a challenge, but only for a couple of days. Then I started to feel less like a square peg and more like a cog in the machine that is a cycling team. Brian the mechanic joked with me a bit, and the racers became more comfortable with my style as they began to understand my methods. Lisa is an excellent leader, as she provides information, instruction, and then lets you work.

The hardest part of the job was not sleep deprivation (although I really don't like that at all), but knowing that I would soon feel like I knew these people and have to say good-bye in five days. I want them to know it wasn't easy, and so I will try to follow the team's progress and offer advice on what to do when those legs feel sluggish. And I'm going to hold Marni to her promise to walk on my back (you whippersnapper)!

Best wishes to Lisa, Brian, Lara, Chrissy, Hannah, Emily, Sharon, Martina, and Marni!

thinking spring

2008-04-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, I can take rain. We need it. Not sure about 3 days in a row, however. Anyway, I tried to pull my spirits out of the drain by purchasing some sun block and s'mores ingredients today. And I signed up my house for a home tour in May. Housecleaning is now much more important than whining about the rain. Come to think of it, I'll need a lot more than 3 days of rain to get my house totally ready!

Back to the Gunflint

2008-02-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the trip, TC!

Parmly Pool Palace

2008-02-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

So I have some pretty appreciative clients, I guess. The wellness director at Parmly Senior Center heard about my work as a massage therapist through the grapevine, and decided to give me a spot at the new wellness center at Parmly in Chisago City. Once I saw this place, I was very excited about the opportunity. It's a great therapy pool facility, sporting an individual rehab pool with a treadmill. A weight room, group fitness rooms, cafeteria, and meditation garden all round out the facility quite nicely.

I will be offering massage services there as I can fit them into my home office schedule, and hopefully reach a wider audience, as the wellness center is open to the public as well as the seniors on site.

Thank you to my talkative and beloved clients!

Great Ideas

2008-02-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I drove past a Baker's Square restaurant that I used to hang out at with some scrabble buddies. We'd play scrabble for a couple of hours, eating and drinking while trying to come up with new ways to use the Q. What caught my attention yesterday was an advertisement that read '$5.99 pie - All You Can Eat' Has anyone else seen this? I think this would have been great while playing scrabble, but how many people go out to eat all the pie they can? I figured I could eat maybe three slices, before feeling queasy. So maybe it's a good idea for business. But that doesn't mean it isn't a bit strange.

Memories

2008-01-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

I was watching the PBS documentary about SCTV today. The part about Rick Moranis reminded me of my old computer programming job at the State of Minnesota's department of Economic Security. Those were some good times, while they lasted. (When I was hired, the plan was to get the computer systems in line with new legislation to deal with upgraded unemployment insurance by a certain deadline, so much money was spent.) Anyway, there were a lot of characters I worked with while I was a civil servant. The first one I met was Al Gare. Al and I were seated next to each other, and I can't remember who started the conversation, but it got around to 'Where are you from?' I told him something like '50 miles south of the cities' or 'near Faribault,' something I tell people who I know have never heard of Kilkenny. He gets this stupid grin on his face, and says something like 'Have you heard of Morristown?' Of course, the two are small farming towns relatively close to each other, and we just died laughing. This realization led to a lot of good jokes based on the 'This sure beats throwing hay' theme. The next person Al and I ran into was Janelle P. She was the female version of Sam Kinnison. I don't think she could scream like him, but visually, she was a dead ringer. Every time her programs would bomb, we'd look at her, hoping she was about to do that patented Kinnison chuckle/scream, but she never did. Damn. Another character was Tom O'dea. Now this guy had been through a lot, and I don't know his whole story, but some said he was a sharp shooter in his healthier days. But during these days he was heavily medicated, and I'm not talking about coffee. Anyway, he could write code like nobody's business. But I think the time they caught him taking a shower in a randomly selected house, his days were numbered. And finally the guy who started it all was the mailroom guy. I don't remember his name, but one day Al pointed him out to me as he hummed the Great White North theme. I almost lost it. It was Rick Moranis! All he needed was a toque and a beer. I should've gotten a picture, eh? But there were so many others! There was the guy who didn't give us the news, but had to be Don Shelby's evil twin. His tie was a little too tight, but the chin was the giveaway. And then the woman who gave me my first Christmas card at work, Suzanne Stanke. Funny name, huh? But she looked just like one of the guitar-playing vixen in Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love video. I don't know how any programs got finished.

Two degrees of separation

2007-12-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

The massage community may be small, but I got an email the other day from someone who saw my ad on a dating site. She introduced herself as a massage therapist. 'Good, we have something in common,' I figured. During our first chat, she mentioned a place she had worked at that rang a bell with me. I have been looking for a massage therapist who used to work at this place, and so I threw out the name, and she began to give me the scoop on what so-and-so had been up to for the last decade. Not terribly astounding, but it does feel funny to get that 'small world' feeling every now and then. Good to know you're out there, Karen!

No Freakin' Way!

2007-11-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

If I hadn't seen it myself, I would have never believed this one.

I had ordered a cast iron stove, and it was being shipped to my door on a semi. No big deal, as I've had this done before when I bought my super-duper power massage table. I got a call from the trucker when he was about ten miles away, so I went out to the end of the driveway to make it easier for him to spot the address. Now for those of you who don't know where I live, there is no way a semi is going to pull into my driveway, and the road I live on is state highway 95 along the St Croix river. It handles a pretty heavy traffic load, consisting of a bad mix of speeding commuters and Sunday-driving gawkers. Luckily, it was about 2 in the afternoon when my stove pulled up. Traffic was probably less chaotic than normal, but I am still risking my life just going to check my mailbox. So I stood at the end of the driveway, expecting him to pull to the side of the road, but he signals to me that he wants to turn around before parking. I figure that's a good idea, as that will put him on my side of the road, and we won't have to cart the stove across the death trap. And then it happened. I'm telling you, watching this was better than any Halloween movie trailer. I fully expected him to go to the next side road and turn his full size semi around, but he did a u-turn! On hwy 95! Right before a blind curve! With my stove on board! I was so freaking surprised I almost dialed 911 just to get things rolling before the inevitable happened. I mean, people do 70+ mph on this road! (Just ask Dan Wold - good luck out west, btw.) Well, it was a true 'freeze, flight, or flight' experience for me. If I was as quick as Smithers or Donimator with the camera, I'd have a pic for you. But trust me, this semi was cross-ways in the road for a good 45 seconds to a minute or so, and it seemed liked days. I wanted to run and hide. No good could come from this. I thought about running up towards the blind curve to warn anyone about the knucklehead they were about to encounter, but I'd never make it there in time. I also figured I should stay a safe distance away from the wreckage, so I would be able to help instead of just becoming part of the victim pile-up. But this driver must be doing something right, because he made the turn without any one getting themselves stuck underneath his trailer. It was just as surprising as the fact that he attempted it in the first place! I helped him unload my stove as I thought about giving him an earful for performing that stunt, but what good would that do now? I was just happy I was carrying my stove instead of bodies from the wreckage.

So look out when you're on the road these days. The unexpected occurs far too often.

I love my career

2007-10-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have been working pretty hard the past few years to get my business off the ground, and although I've enjoyed almost every minute of it, it has been tiring. I have had to sacrifice time, money, and who knows what else to make my presence known in the massage world. And although fame might make marketing easier, I am reminded every now and then what the real goal is. It is good to feel appreciated. And I am very happy to be an official sponsor of Grumpy's/Little Guy Racing!

We are winding up our first year as a cycling club, and I am glad to say I'll be able to spend more time with the team in year two, as I am learning how to be more efficient at business marketing. When you have to spend much of your time providing personal service, there isn't much left over for anything else. So this winter will be spent planning my time more wisely during next year's racing season. Of course, that's the plan, and plans can change. But I think my client base is broad enough now that I don't have to spend every weekend at some craft fair doing chair massage. It's ok as work goes, but I'd rather spend some weekends racing, or at least near the cycling scene. That could be some of the best marketing I do all year.

Meditation for the Day

2007-10-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Which is better for you, Tai Chi or Chai Tea?

Swedish Immigrant Trail

2007-10-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard, the Swedish Immigrant Trail in Chisago County is officially 'open!' Trail dedication was at 10 am today, and rain did not spoil the ribbon cutting. I did not have my bike with me, but I took a walk on it from Shafer towards Center City. It is a pretty trail, with wetlands, trees, and even a buffalo farm nearby!

It will be a good alternative to highway 8 and other local roads, as they become congested with more and more auto traffic. As I live on the probable route of the Gateway Trail expansion, I am hoping to see the two trails meet sometime in the near future. I usually have no problem with riding on roads, as I have done a lot of long-distance road touring, but as the media becomes clogged with stories of deteriorating infrastructure, too many taxpayers seem to think that the problem will be fixed by diverting all funds from parks and trails to roads and bridges. So the roadhogs increasingly curse cyclists who dare use the road when the roadhogs 'paid x million for the blankety-blank bike trail!' I don't expect them to understand. They are, after all, roadhogs. They also want free gasoline. As a cyclist, I know I'm somehow paying for their gas consumption habits. Money that I'd rather spend on bike trails, that is. But I don't waste time screaming at motorists. I'll just keep riding my bike.

Scrabble babble

2007-09-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

If you like scrabble, you should check isc.ro out. Some say it isn't as fun as Enduro's digs at the old Newnet channel using IRC, but hey, things change. The bottom line is you can still find a scrabble game to suit you at pretty much any time of the day. It's the perfect test to see if your mind is really keeping you awake at 2 am, or the other way around. Got a rack of letters aeioumd on your rack? There's a bingo there, dammit! I would tell you what it is, except I want a certain guy who calls himself super to figure it out before his cat does.

Missed it by that much...

2007-09-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

Driving to the track tonight from Osceola, I knew it was going to be a race with the rainclouds. We got the first races in just fine, and the chariot race heats, but when it came to the KOS sprint final, the track was already sprinkled, but the race takes less than a minute. Too bad we didn't get it started in time, as the big gears were looking feisty into turns 1/2. Just then the double gun shot ended it as the rain hit, and all we could do was talk about what might have been. Taylor was looking spry, but I don't think Mr. Tainter was going to allow anyone to walk past him, not even me, on his wheel like a piece of bubble gum!

I got good news from Rookie that he has Rush tickets. We will race Sunday afternoon, and hopefully make it to St Paul before Red Barchetta is revved up.

Grumpys/LGR Steppin' Up

2007-07-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

For anyone who is near dinkytown this Sunday August 5th, a cycling extravaganza is being held on campus. There will be many skill levels represented, as well as free parking at a nearby ramp, and a massage tent operated by yours truly. I am a very proud sponsor of the Grumpy's/Little Guy Racing 'team,' and as one well-known commercial states, 'I'm also a member!' I'm sure there will be other goodies offered by other sponsors of the team as well. Don't miss this!

Bet on Yourself

2007-07-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

Watching Keirin races in Japan, I didn't know the riders' backgrounds, talents, or even their moods of that day. So it was very difficult to make an educated bet on who would win, place, and show. Might as well go by which jersey color strikes you best. But at Blaine, it's a slightly different scene. And in this race, I knew one of the riders pretty well. He tends to cycle for the health of it these days, looking to hang out with other healthy types and enjoy the atmosphere. So when I found myself in the state finals, I knew it was something to savor.

The prelim went down to the line, with a bike throw punching my ticket to the finals. From then on, my luck kept getting better. As I read later, at least one competitor chose too small a gear for a keirin final, and another favorite drew the spot behind the motor. I drew third position, and felt very focused on the two riders in front of me, Tainter and Ferris. Tainter is known for sweeping back and forth, discouraging anyone from inching too close to his wheel. Ferris tends to change speeds to his advantage. I was staying far enough back to minimize the effects of their stunts, yet close enough to be there for the finish. Luckily, no one chose to try and box me in, since the pace stayed high. On the home straight, my gear felt perfect, and Ferris had found his extra gear as he pulled up and away. As I eked past Tainter, I measured the distance to Ferris, wondering what might have been. But second is just fine, especially now that I know who to bet on. Thanks, Tim!