Your Body of Knowledge

Follow the Crowd

2011-06-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

Body-of-Knowledge.genbook.com

Get Moving

2011-05-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

It is time. No more excuses. You need to use your physical body, or you will lose it before you know it. If you need help, get it here:

Body-of-Knowledge.genbook.com

Taylors Falls Kayaking

2010-05-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

I stopped by TF on the way home from CanoeU weekend on the Kettle to check out the water level, and although it has dropped down quite a bit from the previous rainy week, I don't see the surf wave yet. I imagine it may show sometime this week, so I will plan on a run or two this weekend if anyone wants to give it a go. Even if the wave isn't there, it's a good workout to paddle up to the dam, and cross eddies up there. Vertical Chuck got me going on that little habit! There could actually be a really good surf wave near the dam right about now, but I didn't get close enough today to try and spot it. Chuck says it shows around 4500 cfs. I'll go for a look tomorrow!

Contact me at 651-257-5900 if you want to jump in there.

A New Thrill

2010-05-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

On April 1st I learned how to roll one, and on May 1st I maneuvered one through the class 2 rapids near my home. I'm really glad I finally got the whitewater kayak. I had always liked suspending my bike rides to watch the people surf the waves under the Taylors Falls bridge, but now I may opt for the boat instead of the bike once in a while. Variety is good.

The Madden Rule

2009-10-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

Hey, did you know John Madden was born in Austin, MN? Anyway, I've always wondered what it was like to be so afraid of flying that you'd rather take a bus everywhere. I know, his bus is not the kind of bus I'd be on, but still, it seems really odd. He has said that the main reason is claustrophobia. But I digress.

This most recent Delta screw up has me wondering. Sure, it makes for great jokes, the term 'flyover country' is now official, blah blah blah, but it does seem like we've got more to complain about these days than just the peanuts or lost luggage. And what could a terrorist learn from such an incident? I'm not usually an alarmist, but it does make me wonder if I would ever join Madden someday. I can still hear the insults from my college roomies, one from California, the other from New York, but I think I'll join Franken instead, and start shouting from rooftops. This must be investigated from every possible angle, and those clowns piloting that plane should be filling potholes if you ask me.

Ok, I feel better now. Maybe that's the purpose of a good rant, eh?

Fun night at the velodrome

2009-07-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Won the MN State Keirin Championships last Thursday. I haven't been on top of the podium in quite a while, and it's something I'm glad some of my family could witness. Even nephew Owen was surprised, as he usually tells Grandma matter-of-factly 'Tom doesn't win.' So I'm glad I got that out of his system. Imagine having the coolest uncle in the world, but knowing he's never going to win a bicycle race! Such a conflict could ruin a child's life. But now that Owen knows his uncle can throw down, maybe he'll believe me when I continue to tell him how everything is possible.

The Human Condition

2009-06-28T17:19:00.000-07:00

Massage can do wonders. It has been documented for thousands of years. I believe in it, and my clients believe in it. But we occasionally fall prey to the imagination and the never-ending quest for perfection. 'When will we get rid of this?' or 'Will there ever come a day when I feel no pain?' are some questions I cannot answer, not without smirking anyway. 'The day you feel nothing is what you should fear,' I might say to my more realistic clients.

And they know what I mean, but I agree, we'd all like to get through life without any pain. That would be perfect, wouldn't it? But attaining perfection and striving for it are two different things. I believe in the pursuit of happiness, but I don't expect it constantly. In fact, I think that constantly dreaming of perfection can make our reality seem woefully inadequate. I'd rather be striving for perfection, rather than distraught over not attaining it.

Twenty years ago, massage stopped my migraines. But if I don't continue massage and postural maintenance, I'm pretty sure the migraines would return. Not a perfect cure, but if you've ever had migraines, you'll take what you can get. So I urge those of you who aren't happy to get a massage, and think of it as a dose of happiness. It's all about the pursuit.

DirecTV Doubles Referral Cash

2009-04-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

Body of Knowledge has been offering an hour of free massage for those who use referral code 21402243 when signing up for DirecTV service. But now that DirecTV has doubled the cash ($100 instead of $50), Body of Knowledge will now match the new offer with 2 free hours of massage.

How's that for a stimulus?

Special Thanks

2009-04-07T10:18:00.000-07:00

Here we go - another road cycling season is upon us. For whatever activity you are planning this season, make sure you take care of your body. And think about those who've helped you along the way. I'd also like to thank my grateful clients!

Cold Fusion, Cold Case Warming Up

2009-02-12T12:33:00.000-08:00

Being a physics phlunky, I've been watching the progress of Low Energy Nuclear Reaction research ever since the big announcement 20 years ago about the discovery of 'cold fusion.' A lot has happened, or not happened, since then. We all have a stake in finding better sources of energy, but it appears some believe they have more of a stake than others. All the usual arguments and turf wars have followed the first announcement, but a very disturbing event involving Eugene Mallove, a physicist and eloquent trumpeter of things to come through the publication Infinite Energy, occured in 2004. He was found beaten to death. It always smelled fishy, and now the case is taking on new life as the original two suspects could not be linked to the crime. A $50,000 reward is now being offered for information, and the case is being worked 'full time.' Now that smells like progress.

You can always add more power...

2009-01-20T04:05:00.000-08:00

...if you don't mind the occasional broken bone or pulled muscle! It's true, there are athletes who treat their bodies like race cars, thinking they just need to increase power and reduce weight to get optimum results. While those are two factors to be concerned with, cycling (and many other sports) requires a certain amount of neuromuscular timing to get the job done. All this means is that all cylinders need to be firing at their respective optimums to produce peak output. (Did you catch that? For some reason I'm trying to appeal to the motorheads.) If you are using four muscles for a movement, but one is a bit tight, it will decrease the effectiveness of the others. Well toned muscles require less energy to move through their range of motion. For example, riding a bike with a rusty chain may get you where you want to go, but you're doing more work. Why not just oil the chain? With muscles and other soft tissues, this is done by increasing circulation. Massage and proper stretching facilitate increased circulation, as well as increased range of motion.

There are a few studies claiming that stretching decreases power. First of all they overuse a poor form of stretching (holding stretches for an excessive and arbitrary length of time, and secondly, they do it immediately before testing the muscle for power. There is no time allowed for reinnervation! Taking these errors into consideration, I would also guess most of the studies focus on classically overstretched tissue as opposed to lengthening the contracted tissue. But enough of that. Do your own study; let me show you how easing tension in the right spots can help your performance in whatever sport you choose.

I don't like blogs

2008-12-28T21:51:00.000-08:00

So there.

Open Your Eyes

2008-10-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Whether or not you believe blind people make better massage therapists, it appears we have another fine example of over-protective legislation causing trouble when it becomes outdated.

ooops

2008-07-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

I accidentally deleted a voicemail message from someone affiliated with Park Nicollet Health Services. It was left on Tuesday the 22nd, around 1:00 pm. I didn't get to hear it, and only have Park Nicollet's general phone number on my caller id, so I'm posting this in case they read my blog. Talk about a snowball's chance...

NVGP

2008-06-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

Whew! NVGP had a rough start this year with that storm during the St Paul criterium, but with six stages, a race this great can afford one messed up stage.

Super-Rookie deserves some credit for matching me up with the ValueAct Capital team, led by Lisa Hunt. I have provided massage services to NVGP teams in the past, but I've never been in a full soigneur role. This year I decided to take on that role, and see what is was all about.

At first, I knew it would be a little tough for me to jump in and be a vocal member of a team, as I'm used to operating my own business, and rarely have to confer with anyone else about decisions, except the one client on the table of course. So it was a challenge, but only for a couple of days. Then I started to feel less like a square peg and more like a cog in the machine that is a cycling team. Brian the mechanic joked with me a bit, and the racers became more comfortable with my style as they began to understand my methods. Lisa is an excellent leader, as she provides information, instruction, and then lets you work.

The hardest part of the job was not sleep deprivation (although I really don't like that at all), but knowing that I would soon feel like I knew these people and have to say good-bye in five days. I want them to know it wasn't easy, and so I will try to follow the team's progress and offer advice on what to do when those legs feel sluggish. And I'm going to hold Marni to her promise to walk on my back (you whippersnapper)!

Best wishes to Lisa, Brian, Lara, Chrissy, Hannah, Emily, Sharon, Martina, and Marni!

thinking spring

2008-04-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, I can take rain. We need it. Not sure about 3 days in a row, however. Anyway, I tried to pull my spirits out of the drain by purchasing some sun block and s'mores ingredients today. And I signed up my house for a home tour in May. Housecleaning is now much more important than whining about the rain. Come to think of it, I'll need a lot more than 3 days of rain to get my house totally ready!

Back to the Gunflint

2008-02-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the trip, TC!

Parmly Pool Palace

2008-02-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

So I have some pretty appreciative clients, I guess. The wellness director at Parmly Senior Center heard about my work as a massage therapist through the grapevine, and decided to give me a spot at the new wellness center at Parmly in Chisago City. Once I saw this place, I was very excited about the opportunity. It's a great therapy pool facility, sporting an individual rehab pool with a treadmill. A weight room, group fitness rooms, cafeteria, and meditation garden all round out the facility quite nicely.

I will be offering massage services there as I can fit them into my home office schedule, and hopefully reach a wider audience, as the wellness center is open to the public as well as the seniors on site.

Thank you to my talkative and beloved clients!

Great Ideas

2008-02-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I drove past a Baker's Square restaurant that I used to hang out at with some scrabble buddies. We'd play scrabble for a couple of hours, eating and drinking while trying to come up with new ways to use the Q. What caught my attention yesterday was an advertisement that read '$5.99 pie - All You Can Eat' Has anyone else seen this? I think this would have been great while playing scrabble, but how many people go out to eat all the pie they can? I figured I could eat maybe three slices, before feeling queasy. So maybe it's a good idea for business. But that doesn't mean it isn't a bit strange.

Memories

2008-01-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

I was watching the PBS documentary about SCTV today. The part about Rick Moranis reminded me of my old computer programming job at the State of Minnesota's department of Economic Security. Those were some good times, while they lasted. (When I was hired, the plan was to get the computer systems in line with new legislation to deal with upgraded unemployment insurance by a certain deadline, so much money was spent.) Anyway, there were a lot of characters I worked with while I was a civil servant. The first one I met was Al Gare. Al and I were seated next to each other, and I can't remember who started the conversation, but it got around to 'Where are you from?' I told him something like '50 miles south of the cities' or 'near Faribault,' something I tell people who I know have never heard of Kilkenny. He gets this stupid grin on his face, and says something like 'Have you heard of Morristown?' Of course, the two are small farming towns relatively close to each other, and we just died laughing. This realization led to a lot of good jokes based on the 'This sure beats throwing hay' theme. The next person Al and I ran into was Janelle P. She was the female version of Sam Kinnison. I don't think she could scream like him, but visually, she was a dead ringer. Every time her programs would bomb, we'd look at her, hoping she was about to do that patented Kinnison chuckle/scream, but she never did. Damn. Another character was Tom O'dea. Now this guy had been through a lot, and I don't know his whole story, but some said he was a sharp shooter in his healthier days. But during these days he was heavily medicated, and I'm not talking about coffee. Anyway, he could write code like nobody's business. But I think the time they caught him taking a shower in a randomly selected house, his days were numbered. And finally the guy who started it all was the mailroom guy. I don't remember his name, but one day Al pointed him out to me as he hummed the Great White North theme. I almost lost it. It was Rick Moranis! All he needed was a toque and a beer. I should've gotten a picture, eh? But there were so many others! There was the guy who didn't give us the news, but had to be Don Shelby's evil twin. His tie was a little too tight, but the chin was the giveaway. And then the woman who gave me my first Christmas card at work, Suzanne Stanke. Funny name, huh? But she looked just like one of the guitar-playing vixen in Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love video. I don't know how any programs got finished.

Two degrees of separation

2007-12-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

The massage community may be small, but I got an email the other day from someone who saw my ad on a dating site. She introduced herself as a massage therapist. 'Good, we have something in common,' I figured. During our first chat, she mentioned a place she had worked at that rang a bell with me. I have been looking for a massage therapist who used to work at this place, and so I threw out the name, and she began to give me the scoop on what so-and-so had been up to for the last decade. Not terribly astounding, but it does feel funny to get that 'small world' feeling every now and then. Good to know you're out there, Karen!

No Freakin' Way!

2007-11-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

If I hadn't seen it myself, I would have never believed this one.

I had ordered a cast iron stove, and it was being shipped to my door on a semi. No big deal, as I've had this done before when I bought my super-duper power massage table. I got a call from the trucker when he was about ten miles away, so I went out to the end of the driveway to make it easier for him to spot the address. Now for those of you who don't know where I live, there is no way a semi is going to pull into my driveway, and the road I live on is state highway 95 along the St Croix river. It handles a pretty heavy traffic load, consisting of a bad mix of speeding commuters and Sunday-driving gawkers. Luckily, it was about 2 in the afternoon when my stove pulled up. Traffic was probably less chaotic than normal, but I am still risking my life just going to check my mailbox. So I stood at the end of the driveway, expecting him to pull to the side of the road, but he signals to me that he wants to turn around before parking. I figure that's a good idea, as that will put him on my side of the road, and we won't have to cart the stove across the death trap. And then it happened. I'm telling you, watching this was better than any Halloween movie trailer. I fully expected him to go to the next side road and turn his full size semi around, but he did a u-turn! On hwy 95! Right before a blind curve! With my stove on board! I was so freaking surprised I almost dialed 911 just to get things rolling before the inevitable happened. I mean, people do 70+ mph on this road! (Just ask Dan Wold - good luck out west, btw.) Well, it was a true 'freeze, flight, or flight' experience for me. If I was as quick as Smithers or Donimator with the camera, I'd have a pic for you. But trust me, this semi was cross-ways in the road for a good 45 seconds to a minute or so, and it seemed liked days. I wanted to run and hide. No good could come from this. I thought about running up towards the blind curve to warn anyone about the knucklehead they were about to encounter, but I'd never make it there in time. I also figured I should stay a safe distance away from the wreckage, so I would be able to help instead of just becoming part of the victim pile-up. But this driver must be doing something right, because he made the turn without any one getting themselves stuck underneath his trailer. It was just as surprising as the fact that he attempted it in the first place! I helped him unload my stove as I thought about giving him an earful for performing that stunt, but what good would that do now? I was just happy I was carrying my stove instead of bodies from the wreckage.

So look out when you're on the road these days. The unexpected occurs far too often.

I love my career

2007-10-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have been working pretty hard the past few years to get my business off the ground, and although I've enjoyed almost every minute of it, it has been tiring. I have had to sacrifice time, money, and who knows what else to make my presence known in the massage world. And although fame might make marketing easier, I am reminded every now and then what the real goal is. It is good to feel appreciated. And I am very happy to be an official sponsor of Grumpy's/Little Guy Racing!

We are winding up our first year as a cycling club, and I am glad to say I'll be able to spend more time with the team in year two, as I am learning how to be more efficient at business marketing. When you have to spend much of your time providing personal service, there isn't much left over for anything else. So this winter will be spent planning my time more wisely during next year's racing season. Of course, that's the plan, and plans can change. But I think my client base is broad enough now that I don't have to spend every weekend at some craft fair doing chair massage. It's ok as work goes, but I'd rather spend some weekends racing, or at least near the cycling scene. That could be some of the best marketing I do all year.

Meditation for the Day

2007-10-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Which is better for you, Tai Chi or Chai Tea?

Swedish Immigrant Trail

2007-10-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard, the Swedish Immigrant Trail in Chisago County is officially 'open!' Trail dedication was at 10 am today, and rain did not spoil the ribbon cutting. I did not have my bike with me, but I took a walk on it from Shafer towards Center City. It is a pretty trail, with wetlands, trees, and even a buffalo farm nearby!

It will be a good alternative to highway 8 and other local roads, as they become congested with more and more auto traffic. As I live on the probable route of the Gateway Trail expansion, I am hoping to see the two trails meet sometime in the near future. I usually have no problem with riding on roads, as I have done a lot of long-distance road touring, but as the media becomes clogged with stories of deteriorating infrastructure, too many taxpayers seem to think that the problem will be fixed by diverting all funds from parks and trails to roads and bridges. So the roadhogs increasingly curse cyclists who dare use the road when the roadhogs 'paid x million for the blankety-blank bike trail!' I don't expect them to understand. They are, after all, roadhogs. They also want free gasoline. As a cyclist, I know I'm somehow paying for their gas consumption habits. Money that I'd rather spend on bike trails, that is. But I don't waste time screaming at motorists. I'll just keep riding my bike.

Scrabble babble

2007-09-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

If you like scrabble, you should check isc.ro out. Some say it isn't as fun as Enduro's digs at the old Newnet channel using IRC, but hey, things change. The bottom line is you can still find a scrabble game to suit you at pretty much any time of the day. It's the perfect test to see if your mind is really keeping you awake at 2 am, or the other way around. Got a rack of letters aeioumd on your rack? There's a bingo there, dammit! I would tell you what it is, except I want a certain guy who calls himself super to figure it out before his cat does.

Missed it by that much...

2007-09-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

Driving to the track tonight from Osceola, I knew it was going to be a race with the rainclouds. We got the first races in just fine, and the chariot race heats, but when it came to the KOS sprint final, the track was already sprinkled, but the race takes less than a minute. Too bad we didn't get it started in time, as the big gears were looking feisty into turns 1/2. Just then the double gun shot ended it as the rain hit, and all we could do was talk about what might have been. Taylor was looking spry, but I don't think Mr. Tainter was going to allow anyone to walk past him, not even me, on his wheel like a piece of bubble gum!

I got good news from Rookie that he has Rush tickets. We will race Sunday afternoon, and hopefully make it to St Paul before Red Barchetta is revved up.

Grumpys/LGR Steppin' Up

2007-07-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

For anyone who is near dinkytown this Sunday August 5th, a cycling extravaganza is being held on campus. There will be many skill levels represented, as well as free parking at a nearby ramp, and a massage tent operated by yours truly. I am a very proud sponsor of the Grumpy's/Little Guy Racing 'team,' and as one well-known commercial states, 'I'm also a member!' I'm sure there will be other goodies offered by other sponsors of the team as well. Don't miss this!

Bet on Yourself

2007-07-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

Watching Keirin races in Japan, I didn't know the riders' backgrounds, talents, or even their moods of that day. So it was very difficult to make an educated bet on who would win, place, and show. Might as well go by which jersey color strikes you best. But at Blaine, it's a slightly different scene. And in this race, I knew one of the riders pretty well. He tends to cycle for the health of it these days, looking to hang out with other healthy types and enjoy the atmosphere. So when I found myself in the state finals, I knew it was something to savor.

The prelim went down to the line, with a bike throw punching my ticket to the finals. From then on, my luck kept getting better. As I read later, at least one competitor chose too small a gear for a keirin final, and another favorite drew the spot behind the motor. I drew third position, and felt very focused on the two riders in front of me, Tainter and Ferris. Tainter is known for sweeping back and forth, discouraging anyone from inching too close to his wheel. Ferris tends to change speeds to his advantage. I was staying far enough back to minimize the effects of their stunts, yet close enough to be there for the finish. Luckily, no one chose to try and box me in, since the pace stayed high. On the home straight, my gear felt perfect, and Ferris had found his extra gear as he pulled up and away. As I eked past Tainter, I measured the distance to Ferris, wondering what might have been. But second is just fine, especially now that I know who to bet on. Thanks, Tim!

The TROY Advantage

2007-07-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

She has been keeping them behind her this year at the velodrome. Gwen 'Wheels of' Steel is currently wearing the leader's jersey in the rider of the year contest. Luckily, she knows when to take care of herself. With a two hour massage the other day, Gwen allowed me to show her what all that cycling can do to you if you aren't constantly attentive to the stress it puts on the body!

It will be fun to see the Grumpy's gal race this Thursday.

NVGP week

2007-06-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

Good luck to all the cyclists this week - especially Luke! I will be available for massage during the evenings, but my daily schedule is quite full already. See you in Stillwater!

Quercus alba

2007-05-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

I have been studying a funny-looking growth on one of my white oaks this spring. Now, I'm no master gardener, but I do know a few people who have taken plants pretty seriously, and none of them know what the growth is.

So I have sent the question to the local extension master gardener to see if my oak is coming down with something. The growth looks like a flower (fluffy white with red specks) and is about the size of a golf ball, but I haven't seen this in the ten years I've lived next to this tree. (I thought we knew each other!)

Quercus. Hmm, I wonder if that's allowed in Scrabble. Want to take a swing(ed) at that, SuperRookie?

wankers

2007-05-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

So I'm a bit busy lately, which is good for me, but bad for blog readers. (Do I even have any blog readers?) But I had to blog this event that occurred today.

Tom answering phone: 'Hello, Body of Knowledge Massage, this is Tom.'

Caller (Male): 'Uh, yeah, do you do anything more than therapeutic massage?'

Tom: 'More?'

Caller: 'Yeah, like erotic or anything?'

Tom: 'No!'

Caller: 'Ok, well I 'm looking for something more. Thank you.'

As I hang up the phone laughing, I realize how screwed up this world is. I think what he meant to say was 'Do you offer anything LESS than therapeutic massage?' But hey, who am I to judge, right? Geeez.

I also found myself talking to a single mother this past week about the meaning of a backrub versus a kiss. (My job gets me into some very interesting discussions.) She actually tells me the backrub is more suggestive. Where do these people come from?!?! Has she ever had a french kiss?!?! I mean, her kid is proof that she is well-versed in the language of birds and bees, but she still has this notion that a backrub is 'more suggestive.' I actually enjoy these discussions, because it helps me understand the populace, and what my marketing methods need to accomplish.

Tom Hagerty's Therapeutic Non-suggestive No-wanky-wanky Better-than-sex Massage

Thank you for your patronage.

Thanks for the humor

2007-04-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

After an afternoon of rummaging through tax information and disinformation, I was just about to lose it. I had some reason to peruse the cycling site before checking in, and saw 'professional looking cycling team' on the home page. Hadn't seen that before. hilarious! I think this crew gets it. Well, I knew they did; that's why I joined in. But in the clamor of starting up a new entity, the humor can get lost. It just reminded me why we really are a different kind of club. There aren't any ego-freaks; just people who do their best and remember to keep it real. To some outsiders this attitude is worth nothing. To me it is worth everything.

...Pass the beer nuts

2007-03-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

My cousin Anne and I were whining the other day about what bugs us about the opposite sex (we are both still single and have had similar experiences of being blind-sided by a long-term mate who seemed fine one day and nuts the next) and we are contemplating writing a book together. I'm not sure it hasn't all been said before, but I think it might help me with my current attitude...if we could get through it without adding to the emotional scars already present. Actually, I really make an effort to not stereo-type or get involved in sexist thinking because of my occupation as a male massage therapist. I've dealt with enough 'nudge, nudge...wink,wink' attitude to last me a lifetime, and I've only been doing this for 6 years!

Anyway, I know both sides have some really good arguments, but I have to point out that even thinking about 'sides' is where the problem starts. I mean, aren't we in this together? Maybe not. Maybe we are from different planets. But I've heard stories from both sides, and I've heard them from the 'happily married,' the 'bitter divorced,' the 'indifferent singles,' and all the possible permutations and I think it's a little too easy to polarize the sexes. Sure, I'll buy some of the stuff about our brains being wired differently, but when it gets right down to it, only two people's wiring matters, and theirs might be surprisingly similar. (And they lived happily ever after...)

My brother says to me 'I think you should help with the family jewels.' I wonder if he realizes that he's never said that to me until he was married with kids. Kind of skews the data a bit, huh? After reeling through the dozens of possible comebacks for my 'oh so caring' little brother, I figure he's got good intentions in there somewhere, and let it lie. But it does bring up a good point. Being one who's mother taught him that kids should be the product of a loving relationship, I don't believe in getting my heart set on 'having kids' and then going out to look for a suitable female to 'bear them.' It seems heartless to me. Wouldn't it mean more to find someone you love first and then decide about kids afterwards? I know about it being a bit of a business transaction these days, but really. It does seem like a decision for two people. Maybe I should start on that book...

And Justice For All

2007-03-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

The state of Minnesota doesn't know if it's coming or going. First, it enacts some silly legislation aimed at alternative health care practitioners, then it jumps the gun when an ex-wife with an ax to grind points a finger at a massage therapist who married the ex's husband. Now the ACLU is all over this case, and the state has rescinded its disciplinary order against the therapist. I hope the therapist gets every penny she wants from the state.

Think Minnesota taxes cost a lot? Try crunching the numbers on what these idiotic lawsuits the state attempts to pursue are costing us. If the state had a clear licensing program in the first place, stuff like this would be less likely to happen. Or at least the practitioners would know when it's okay to have sex with the spouse!

Geez.

Cycling and Yoga

2007-02-28T19:08:00.000-08:00

2007 has brought two new groups of clients to my business, and I'm very pleased to say they are two very enthusiastic groups, open to seeing how massage can enhance their fitness. The first group is Little Guy Racing, a cycling club based in Minneapolis. Being a small, cohesive unit, this club didn't have to wait too long before I signed on as a sponsor/member. Several teammates have been receiving massage since late last year, and plan on increasing the frequency as racing season approaches. I am glad to be part of this group.

The other group is a fairly new venture in Lindstrom named Bella Women's Wellness. It is the vision of Rebecca Hanson, a yoga instructor dedicated to bringing the best of many alternatives together in one center. I will be offering massage there beginning in March.

I should have weblinks to these two new ventures soon.

Avoid the force...

2007-02-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those massages that makes you angry? I have, and I've seen others receiving them at various health fairs and business expos. The problem is, the people receiving them won't know they are angry until later, when the over-worked soft tissue has a chance to respond. The tell-tale sign is a lot of motion, usually a pumping action by the so-called therapist. I've seen chiropractors do this as well. I'm not sure if it's an over-zealous care giver trying to impress the onlookers, or just a lack of palpation skills, but if it goes on for more than an introductory few minutes to increase circulation in preparation for real massage, it's useless. The well-intentioned therapist may defend themselves by saying 'something is better than nothing,' but in most cases they would be wrong.

Tissue damage can occur with this approach, and although the side-effects are usually just a little soreness, for someone with compressed vertebrae or other complications the results can be long-term and very debilitating. At the very least, this style of 'treatment' will only prolong the time it takes to relieve the body of the underlying stress.

Luckily, these types of therapists don't last too long in their professions. I know that sounds mean, but I'm thinking of their unsuspecting prospective clientelle when I say this. These therapists usually succumb to their own injuries because they ignored the early, subtle symptoms and muscle tension in their own bodies that they've been ignoring in their clients' bodies! Come to think of it, they also tend to have stubborn personalities as well. They figure they will get what they want if they just keep pushing. Did you know that human fascial tissue has been strength tested at 6000 psi? More force is not the answer. A good massage does require enough force to initiate a response from the tissue, but if the therapist is not listening for that response, the amount of force they apply makes no difference.

Whew! Okay I'm done ranting...for a while.

playing tight

2007-02-10T05:12:00.000-08:00

My blog is like that poker player who never gets into a pot until he has the nuts. Well, today, I have pocket aces. Remember, you heard it here first....SuperRookie is not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

Common Man

2007-01-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

Listening to Dan Cole today on KFAN, my mind wandered back to the days I called in occassionally as Amateur Cycling Guy, and tried keeping up with his witty banter. Those were the early days of the Commonwealth, and I must have been a little bored. But I still get a kick out of his 'progrum,' and hope to catch another classic 'meltdown.' I have never taken it to the extreme of hanging out with the commonwealth in person, although I guess some have made a pretty good gig out of it. I have thirteen or fourteen good memories of live, on-air classic lines from the progrum. I remeber when Hunting Gal told Dan she was only wearing a watch, and after a couple seconds of dead air he asked her what time it was. His 'Sports, sports, sports!' meltdown still ranks high, as do the high-energy reports by the Secretary of Insight.

He doesn't always bring his 'A game,' but if you listen long enough, you will become one of the '3 out of 10.'

I missed that

2007-01-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

So I was watching Larry King today. I have never seen one episode of 24. Looks like they're onto something, but I was never one to say 'Shoot, I'm missing something good!' because the fact is, it is very possible that as big as your Tivo harddrive is, you are still going to 'miss something.' I mean, the better more varied our media avenues become, the more aware one is of the daily flood of things you could be viewing or doing. I like to read a few blogs (by those who know what they're doing) and skim the news headlines, but I don't really try to 'keep up' anymore. There are too many experiences in this life I want to get to, and time is a precious commodity. It's midnight, and I just remembered I haven't gotten the mail out of the mailbox yet. Maybe I should just unplug and head for the mountains, huh?

subway superman

2007-01-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

How about that story? A man is on a subway platform with his two young daughters, watching a train speed towards a seizure victim who's fallen on the tracks. Did he know he'd have enough clearance between the train and the two bodies underneath? Did he wonder how much therapy his daughters would need if they were allowed to see someone killed by a train that way? No, he acted to help someone else. That's about all he could've been thinking about in the few seconds he had been alloted. Of course, the outcome was heroic. And he deserves much praise. But let's keep our heads here, so that we may learn something as a society. This story is an extreme example of the good samaritan, but it shows what can come from acting from a solid foundation of moral principles. You can't go wrong by helping others. Had the train not had the clearance, both men would probably be dead, and the daughters would have seen their father die a horrible death, but they would eventually find comfort in knowing their dad was one in a million. Had he done nothing, it could be chalked up to 'an unfortunate accident,' and nobody would blame him for freezing. Hopefully, I'll never be in that particular situation, because chances are I couldn't act as this guy did, but I do know that I will probably encounter a few situations, likely under lesser circumstances, during my lifetime where I can help someone else, and this guy has inspired me to do the unselfish thing every time.

Personality tests, New Year's thoughts

2006-12-30T20:10:00.000-08:00

I don't blog much. It is an extension of my personality, which has been measured repeatedly as an INTP. (For the unitiated, that's Myers-Briggs lingo for an introverted, intuitive, thinking, perceiving type, making up about 1% of the general population.) But when I do blog (or otherwise express myself), it is usually on a topic I care deeply about, and have considered carefully. I guess one reason I don't blog much is that my type is often perplexed by meaninglessness. Although I care about others, I often realize I can't do a hell of a lot for them. (Lead a horse to water...) I tend to have an optimistic outlook, however, which can easily confuse you other types. (Perhaps ignorance is bliss.) I know I am wrong just as much as the other guy, but I will stick to my guns, and present my argument with verve in order to save face. I like a good story or show, but won't often laugh politely just to make others comfortable. I am hoping to make some personal improvements in the coming year, but it took many years to figure out how to deal with me, and I'd like to get better at that before I make any drastic changes.

So, why are you reading this? Good question. Perhaps you will be dealing with me in the future (cycling teammate/opponent, massage client, scrabble opponent, Swiss bank teller) , or you have dealt with me in the past and have been wondering 'Who the hell does he think he is?' I know I'm not that good of a writer, so this may not be the most efficient way to know me. But since I don't talk much, this may be your only option.

I don't like controversy. I read and enjoy the blogs Smithers, Rookie, Donimator, Skibby and others put out, but stay on or near the sidelines. I like the creative and diplomatic nature of the Jareds, Gwens and Sarahs of the world. Tuffy and dis are in the list somewhere of course, because they appear to me as adding thoughtful voices of reason. Although I avoid controversy, I sometimes wonder if I should ask Rookie if he has followed any formula for building the cycling team of his dreams, or if I should keep my mouth shut and not stir up trouble. Does dis really run the show? Is Gwen the social coordinator? I think this 'after-the-fact' analysis behavior is one of my weaknesses. I don't tend to get involved from the get-go, hoping to save my energy for that stage when everything is sorted out. I've been thinking it might be informative to get a map of each personality on the team, but maybe that's been done already.

You may be wondering, 'Is this going anywhere?' I am wondering the same thing. I think that the fast approaching new year has something to do with this. Just trying to get some idea on what the near future holds, I guess. Wanting to leave some things up to intuition, I'll keep my improvisational skills sharp, so that I can deal with things that weren't predicted by past analysis. There are those who like to believe in a destination, and I get caught up in that occassionally, but these days I am tending to side with those who say 'Enjoy the ride.'

I have a dream

2006-12-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

A prospective client stopped me as a worked my way through the grocery checkout the other day. As I could only recognize the face, not the name, Jen reminded me that we had met at a craft fair where I was giving chair massages. She had planned on calling me back to have me work on her wedding party. I remember thinking that would be a nice thing to do for those who were getting dressed to the nines for her. But, as she continued to explain, my hope for civilization began to fade. She said the pastor would not allow chair massage in the church; I guess she couldn't work out the logistics to set me up in someone's home. I guess this pastor had never heard of Sister Rosalind, and although I wasn't surprised, I was sad, because there are still too many people out there who are living in the dark about massage.

The latest news out of Iowa City is that a high school has banned hugging. Apparently, group hugging was so prevalent that hallways were being jammed. How do we take this? Too much of a good thing? I think if I were a student there, it would be fun to break the rule on a constant basis. I mean really. Who's going to enforce this? I'm sure there's no chair massage in that place!

So as long as you have the right to arms, people, you must exercise them! Hugs and massage are not tools of the devil. Preserve your rights, and stand up against those who choose to embrace a colder, lonelier planet!

Voice Your Opinion

2006-12-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

Whenever I read one of these stories, I am always astonished by the accounts of how the 'laws don't allow the proper punishment.' What a bunch of crap. I'm no lawyer, but it sounds like this judge could have done more to set a precedent. We need to prosecute killers, no matter what weapon they use!

Man vs. Machine

2006-12-02T21:13:00.000-08:00

If you play enough scrabble, you know who Jim Kramer is. This past month, he beat a computer in a best of three match. Not quite the duel that we saw when Kasparov was tackling chess computers, but it is amazing nonetheless. Maybe this winter I will try to check out some of the local league play. I would like to meet the guy who won $10,000 playing scrabble!

Massage Chairs

2006-11-28T23:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'll admit it. I had to try it. Although I don't believe anything will be invented that will outperform a human touch, these chairs that 'massage' are getting pretty sophisticated. I was waiting for a flight in San Diego this past week, and after doing the marina tour (5 boats for $12!) I had time to run through an open-air mall. Seeing nothing of interest at the movie theater, I found a Brookstone store, and two empty massage recliners. If you haven't done this (who hasn't) it is a good way to kill time. I hit the place at 3pm on a Monday afternoon, so I had my pick of the $2000 Panasonic or the $4300 Panasonic. Fifteen minutes in the cheapo model was good, but a little scary. If the salesmen wasn't there to reassure me, I might have jumped out when the leg attachment started trying to pop my calves from the sides. The back action was fairly adjustable for size, pressure, and speed. Not bad for $2000. I started to picture that in the living room, wondering what the motor warranty was. But then I jumped into the $4300 version, and didn't look back. I was impressed with the adjustability and comfort for another fifteen minutes. One could use preset programs or dial in the exact style and patterns, and save programs for 3 different people. Personally, I'd never buy one, but I could see someone with some disposable income and no massage therapist nearby getting hooked.

thickets and thoracic

2006-11-11T07:06:00.001-08:00

He has some stories to tell, and does a pretty good job of telling them. Check out this blog if you need some literary value with your snark.

Cycling is a good sport in many ways. But there are some pitfalls. One thing to avoid is compensated posture in the lumbar region. This can occur no matter what your posture is on the bike, and usually results in a chronic 'crunched' position. The body avoids this during a natural walking or running motion, but on the bike we tend to keep the waist from performing a very important twisting action that gives the lower back a little break from compressive forces. If you are aware of muscles like the obliques, you know that your abdomen is supported by a criss-crossed cylinder of muscle. When you twist the hips in relation to the ribcage, or vice-versa, you tighten this cylinder of muscle, and lengthen the distance between the two. The resulting traction-like force on the lumbar spine is something we are missing on the bike, as we try to keep the upper body stable and motionless. So if there ever was a reason for cross-training, this is it. Get off the bike and run now and then. Hmmm, sounds a lot like cyclecross...

thickets and thoracic

2006-11-11T07:06:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

2006-11-10T20:36:00.000-08:00

Over 15 years ago, I was a rookie computer programmer fresh out of school with very few worries. I had one occassional problem however. Migraine headaches. If you've ever had 'em, or known someone who has, you know you don't want 'em. I remember being so nauseated I couldn't keep water down. And if I got one while at work, I was lucky if I could get to the bathroom before vomiting. But luckily I found massage. After meeting a therapist named Karen Kullman, I began to have hope that this did not have to be a chronic condition. She didn't make any wild promises, but agreed to do what she could, and exuded a confidence that made me decide to stick with her treatment for a couple of months to see what massage could do. I have avoided these terrible headaches ever since, and have found many other benefits from regular massage. So much so that I decided to become a massage therapist myself. After 5 years in the business, I'm happy to say I have been able to serve many very appreciative clients thanks to the knowledge I gained from Karen's treatments, and formal training at Sister Rosalind Gefre's School of Professional Massage.

Thanks Karen, where ever you are!

I'd Prefer Not To Say

2006-11-06T12:46:00.000-08:00

With elections around the corner, and thoughts of what direction this country is headed in, I try not to turn into a grouchy old man. (I can hear Dylan singing 'I used to care, but things have changed.) That won't help anything. Neither will ranting on this obscure blog that nobody reads. My remedy is to search out things that give me hope, and they are rarely mainstream ideas. This is usually because when something promising becomes popular, it is plagued by parasites attempting to make a quick buck.

I listen to people about a variety of things. It's part of my job. I've heard mothers cry about their sons being in the middle of a war. I've heard about the stress of raising a family with an alcoholic involved. I've listened to people who don't know what their problem is, but know that something is wrong. I've seen others being drawn from one problem by another problem, thinking their situation is getting better. There are those who are in a job they no longer have passion for, or maybe never did. People who are chasing too many things at once tell me how many ailments their doctors have pinned on them. Doctors have told me they are too busy to care about pain. Perhaps they are. Perhaps they shouldn't be.

Yet I have hope.

Mystique is Back

2006-09-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

Irish 40 - MSU 37 I am always astounded at how bad a college football team can look one minute, and how good they can be the next. If you were watching the East Lansing contest this past Saturday, you know what I mean. Never bet against the Irish.

Frog laws

2006-08-22T07:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, this day is starting off strangely. I just opened the toilet lid and found a tree frog! I have returned him to nature (not through the plumbing) and am still trying to figure out how it got in my house. I live in the woods, and leave my windows open, but there are screens on all windows. Obviously, this frog knows something I don't. It is disturbing when they look at you like 'What the hell? You left that gaping hole in your wall, and I'm not supposed to use it?' I'm just glad I saw him before one of my massage clients spotted him. Actually, that gives me an idea! Tree frog massage! I wonder what that would feel like. I'm surprised I haven't seen it on Fear Factor, but I think some people would go for it. It would take several frogs I imagine, and one could use bigger frogs, or stack them to get deeper into the fascia. Hopefully, Minnesota doesn't have a law against this.

Big News!

2006-08-14T02:37:00.000-07:00

First of all, congratulations to James Tainter, Masters National Match Sprint Champion!

And now for something completely different...

First of all, Minnesota doesn't have statewide licensing of massage therapists. So it needs to be on one side of the fence or the other. Otherwise, ex-wives rule the goddam state! Secondly, can I use this two-year rule in my advertising? 'My massage is so powerful, the effects will stay with you for two years!' I think I can, I think I can...

It will be interesting to see how this case turns out. I hope it ends up being a catalyst to get Minnesota's laws cleaned up. Otherwise, it's just a negative mess caused by an angry ex-wife using over-protective statutes to get revenge. Hell, the massage school I attended in 2001 didn't even know of this law! That's how obscure it is! Good luck to LaRae and Kirk.

Kobayoshi

2006-08-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

Takeru Kobayoshi was in Sheboygan this past weekend, and he's done it again. 58 brats in 10 minutes! That got him first place and 8 grand in prize money. What is astonishing is his size. He's a svelte 160, which might help him sneak up on his competitors. I think he's my new hero now that Landis has been turned out. Of course, Takeru could be found guilty of some exquisite slight of hand trickery in the coming months, so maybe I should just quit looking for heroes, and focus on perfecting my own skills until someone idolizes me someday. That reminds me, I should get on my bike today and focus my training for the upcoming Madison championship with SuperRookie. He's been flying, and I'd hate to be the team anchor.

BodyWorlds

2006-08-05T02:48:00.000-07:00

I finally made my way to the exhibit. It was one of those stupid-hot days when the a-c felt really nice. So I grabbed one of my anatomy books from massage school, and spent 3 hours in the exhibit. I didn't learn anything terribly mind-blowing, but I did reinforce most of the mental images I had built up over my first five years in the massage business. The most fascinating stuff for me were the vascular exhibits. They really did an amazing job of showing the arterial system in many forms. Well worth the $22.

Fun day at the Fair!

2006-07-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

Wow! Hey the Polk County fair is where it's at! Clean grounds, open spaces which make for great elbow room, and good variety make this an interesting place to visit if you like county fairs. I'll be there all day Friday giving massages, and then I'm off to Chisago Lakes for the Triathlon. I hope my hands hold up!

A tree fell in the woods...

2006-07-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

A tree fell in my woods today, and I heard it. I have yet to go out and look at it, but it definitely happened, and since someone was around to hear it, it did make a sound. I have an ear-witness!

Hope to see some of you at the upcoming Polk County Fair and the Chisago Lakes Triathlon!

DQ's and other tough calls

2006-07-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

So it's REI night at the track. Everyone's a little keyed up by the size of the crowd, and I mean everyone. Luckily, no injuries that I know of, although there were many opportunities. First notable one I saw was in the Keirin final, when Donimator was DQ'd for not putting himself in harms' way to catch the motor, as he was in the '1' slot. Two fairly seasoned veterans were in front of him, and most would say either of them could have been mistaken for a motor-sucking wanna-be all the way through turn one. I would not fault Don for keeping his nose out from under those two until the backstretch for safety reasons alone, since taking the wheel of the motor before then would mean passing on the left of two riders in the turn, before anyone was really up to speed. Not worth the risk of having someone come down on top of you with a serving of spoke spaghetti. But Don was DQ'd. The saga will continue, as Don filed a formal protest.

Later that same evening, in the glorious Madison, I experienced a flashback to last July, when I was hooked by a rider moving uptrack without a shoulder check. (Said rider, by the way, drew an obvious 'oooh' from the crowd this night with his patented stiff-armed split-second swing uptrack. I did not notice whether a shoulder check was given, but it is physically more difficult to a) turn the head when stiff arming the bars, and b) avoid unsafe and uncontrollable body lean while pulling up.) But back to the Madison. This time, I figured out a way to freeze this behavior, and was warned for 'profanity.' Hmph. I don't have a problem with the call, as the squirrelly rider was warned as well, and I am generally not a fan of profanity, but it got me thinking. The profane words I used probably saved a crash, and the word we are supposed to use (which I yelled loudly before the profanity) had absolutely no good effect, and may have even instigated the problem, quite possibly because it sounds so much like another profane word. The suggested word is 'stick.' Take a guess what some guys (mostly squirrelly, inexperienced kids with more speed than sense) do when they hear this word behind them, uttered by someone who has most likely lost all saliva necessary to form the 's' sound! Maybe they figure they should hook that jerk behind them who is calling them names! Anyway, it doesn't work often enough, and another reason I suggest we use another word is because I guarantee this one has the same effect on the kids in the stands who are turning to their parents asking why the racers are calling each other that nasty word. Suggestions? It needs to be one-syllable, and not start with 's.' Let's start a revolution, and keep track racing safe!

Inspiration

2006-07-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

Way to go, Landis! I'll remember those two stages for years. It was funny to see Bob Roll practically at a loss for words...'Unbelievable' was about all he could say about Floyd's comeback from bonkville.

Where's my Phonak jersey....

rain!

2006-07-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

I hopped on the bike this morning thinking about breakfast, and the free pancakes on Wednesday deal at a local Embers. And just after I got back home, a steady, soaking rain began. I saw the last hour of tour coverage on OLN. Some days you wonder if the timing gets any better! Sounds like the birds like the rain. Their whistles seem a little wetter and livelier. I can hear them through the windows of my cupola. Life in the dome is good.

Talent at the track

2006-07-10T20:51:00.000-07:00

In the past, most people at the velodrome were there to race. In the past couple of years, the fanbase has increased enough to outnumber the racers. And if that wasn't enough, now there are rumors that some of the fans are not there to watch racing, but are showing up for a glimpse of the kid who can juggle while riding the rollers! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would say 'No, they come to watch the Madisons,' but there he was, entertaining the crowd with witty banter and dazzling dexterity. But I think we should keep the Madison, just in case .

Core strength, Landis, Giro Femminile

2006-07-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

I will be teaching a couple of hip flexor stretches at the velodrome next Thursday before racing starts. Hopefully, it will be easier than after the racing, as the mosquitos are taking back the night! I firmly believe that most low back pain cyclists experience is from compression of the lumbar vertebrae, usually caused by a tight iliopsoas. We just don't get the chance to extend our hips in this sport, and train all you want, if you aren't 'balancing your core muscles,' strength will suffer!

I know how Landis feels. Although when I missed a time trial start several years ago, it wasn't a flat tire, it was my mindless extended roller session that delayed my arrival to the start by two minutes. UGH So in a way, maybe I don't know how he feels, but we all like to identify with these guys, don't we?

I saw that Rochelle Gilmore came in over a minute behind the pack in stage 2 of the women's Giro today. Coverage stated she was involved in some some kind of crash. What luck. I heard about Rochelle's recent string of crashes as I worked with her during her participation in the NVGP last month; I hope I never have to race with a fractured tailbone!

fast twitchers? is that you?

2006-06-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

It was a fine night of track racing last night. A sizable crowd, nice weather, and no real mishaps made for a stellar round of racing. Of course, the fact that my fast twitch fibers decided to come out of dormancy helped my spirits. It's been a while since I could get on top of a 90+ gear and finish with something left for the next race! Chris Ferris was nice enough to comment on it as well. Of course, let's not forget that this awakening happened during the keirin, which is motorpaced at 31 mph, so that there's little energy actually put into a wind-up, but it's a start.

Super Rookie has invited me to join his startup team next year. A kind gesture indeed, but I have a lot of thinking to do now. Tom Colburn asked me to join up with Team Makeshift a few yers back, and I opted out on the grounds that I liked my big 200+ member GP/Bianchi team. Of course, of those 200, less than 5 race at the track, and of those, only a couple cat 2's. So it's pretty thin as far as GP trackie numbers. So I would feel like I owe Tom an excuse if I jumped to SR's team now. But I think SR's got a bigger following at the track than Tom had, and that could be the deciding factor. All said and done, I don't really care who I'm racing with, as long as nobody feels dissed.

Next Thursday is all Madison night. Could be something to see!

Thanks, Team Advil

2006-06-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

A big thanks to Team Advil for allowing me to provide massage services during this past week's NVGP stage race! It was a tough race coming off some nasty crashes in Philly, but you all were a very professional and mature bunch to work with. I enjoy receiving feedback from athletes of your caliber, and giving advice to receptive clients makes my job much less of a job.

Good luck during the rest of your season.

untimely rain

2006-05-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

I know I shouldn't complain, but it seems like the velodrome is a magnet for rain lately. At least we got in a few laps last night. But it worked out to about a dollar per lap for the category 1/2's. ugh That was enough time for Mr. Crosby to make contact with the Donimator, who would win any full contact bike incidents, I believe. We will be keeping an eye on the wily Brian Crosby for the rest of the season; perhaps he doesn't realize the reputation he's building. Anyway, my new deductible coverage kicks in next week, so I won't back away from any confrontations for financial reasons. (Thanks, USCF!) I still believe in safe racing, however. Accidents happen, but they can also be avoided with respect for others on the track.

It looks like a fine Memorial weekend shaping up, so I'll be setting up a tent at a flea market in St Croix Falls to market my massage business. Stop by if you need any kinks worked out :)

Insurance

2006-05-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

I feel safer today. I just got an email from USA Cycling, telling about their new insurance program that fills a big gap for cyclists. You see, cycling is an inherently dangerous sport, blah blah blah...well, I've found out the hard way a few times. My lumpy collarbones are my trophies, and I am wiser because of such incidents, but I'd rather not have to worry about hospital bills when healing from a bicycle crash. So it didn't take me more than a few seconds to decide to sign up for the latest insurance deal. It is a product that covers those huge deductibles that many health insurance products come with these days. $25 a month for singles, and just a little more for family coverage. When you realize that it could end up paying for a $5000 deductible on USAC's accident insurance for racers with no primary health insurance, you see the value. I'll be a lot more confident sticking my handlebars in between others during Keirin battles knowing that if the worst case scenario puts me in a hospital, I will at least be able to ask for care without worrying how much it costs first!

Muscles Don't Have Ears

2006-05-10T19:37:00.000-07:00

What?!? Most people wouldn't argue with me on this point; but there are those that think you can talk with a massage therapist in passing and get your therapy 'on the cheap.' I usually oblige them, while I'm doing chair massage at a baseball game or a business expo, but I am usually wasting my time (and theirs) by trying to explain things that only my hands can show them. Sure, I can suggest a few stretches or posture corrections, but if it were that easy, there would be little need for massage. Of course, some of these conversations lead to some hands-on education, which is usually how I get suckered into such dialogues. I think, 'This person could use a massage, and maybe they're just testing me to see if I'm the type of therapist they're looking for.' But more often than not they go hobbling off, thinking they are going to translate those few words we exchanged into relief from their physical pain. I think my advice for such folks in the future will be that they will learn more from actually feeling the massage, and how their soft tissues react, than they'll ever learn from a frantic verbal search for relief. In short, 'Muscles don't have ears!'

Team TH

2006-04-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

I recently learned that a cycling legend who goes by the moniker SuperRookie is returning to the Twin Cities from Chicago this summer. The local cycling community was sad to see him leave, but it took our minds away from the devastating news of Lance leaving the sport. By the way, rumors are circulating that SuperRocky is to blame for the breakup of Lance and Cheryl, but I personally don't think Lance would have anything to do with StuporFlukey. (He'd have to share the spotlight.) Besides, I hear that SnooperLoogie has found someone who will put up with his maniacal national racing schedule. She must be a true hero.

I've always wondered what they would say about me when I leave the sport. Would it be something like 'That guy had no draft anyway,' or would it be something more endearing like 'Yeah, he's the reason team TH became what it is today.' Only time will tell, of course, but if the coming Madison season has any bearing on the outcome, I'm sure going to start training soon. I don't think many people realize what kind of preparation is required to withstand a gruelling Madison schedule. But any race that only requires one to race half of the time is my cup of tea. Although I'm risking my career as a nationally certified massage therapist (my subscapularis is already overdeveloped), I will do anything to further the career of TumorCookie, the one-man publicity stunt. Look for us at a local velodrome in June!

ooof

2006-04-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

Better luck next time, George!

Do you know how to stretch?

2006-03-31T08:05:00.000-08:00

Chances are, you don't know how to stretch. I see many people who think they know how to stretch, and put a lot of energy into it with little result. I see even more who have been taught the wrong way, and give up on it because they figure it must not be for them. Before you try to lengthen your soft tissues, there are a couple things you need to know.

The first bit of knowledge deals with Reciprocal Inhibition. This is a term used to describe the way two muscles or muscle group work in harmony to allow a joint to move. For example, when you flex your bicep, the triceps have to allow that to happen. You can imagine the damage if the quadriceps and hamstrings of a 100-meter sprinter lost communication with each other during an all-out effort. Anyway, knowing about this can help you get better results when stretching, because when you want to 'turn off' the neuromuscular signal to the muscle you are stretching, it is done by flexing the opposing muscle(s). This will allow a much deeper stretch more quickly. Quickly, you say? Yes, and that leads to the second piece of information, the Stretch Reflex.

I've explained the Stretch Reflex in depth in an earlier post. It has been found that a stretch that last longer than 2 seconds will induce the Stretch Reflex, limiting the effectiveness of the stretch. It is an instinctive reaction of the soft tissue to protect itself from over-stretching. Of course, if you know what you are doing, and are not propping up your body in some unbalanced position, this is not a problem. So to stretch effectively, you need to be relaxed in a supported position, and you need to recruit what you now know about Reciprocal Inhibition and the Stretch Reflex. It also helps to isolate the muscle you need to stretch.

I can teach this to you in a simple, hands-on manner so that you will become a smart stretcher!

ComfortCraft!

2006-03-29T14:11:00.000-08:00

I received my power massage table today! It took me no more than 2 hours to haul it into the cupola, and get my sister MaryAnne to take the first ride. It is perfect. If you've never heard of a power massage table, here is the deal. It splits at the waist and lifts your hips, which opens up the lumbar spine while face down, and opens up the abdomen while face up. Not such a big deal you say? Add a professional massage to the mix, and it really does wonders for your spine, and whole body! The face rest also slides to allow your cervical spine (neck) to adjust as I increase the space between vertebrae. A massage on any other table feels like getting massaged on a concrete slab - no joke. I better go wake up MaryAnne...

Uncle Bob

2006-03-20T13:04:00.000-08:00

I lost a good uncle this past week. Uncle Bob was one of those guys you could count on to enliven any situation. One of the first memories I have of Bob was when my dad and I were pulled away from the weekend fun to get the cows milked on Sunday nights, Bob would always hang out with us in the barn. (Quite often, he had to drive from Kilkenny all the way to Silver Bay afterwards!) I think Dad was probably wishing Bob would quit distracting me with his jokes so we could get done quicker, but I know Dad will remember those times as good ones too. Bob would be the one to step up whenever anyone needed help. I specifically remember a cold November day when I was building my house; I still hadn't gotten tar paper on the roof, and it started raining. I was praying for snow, so it wouldn't flood my basement, but it was one of those frigid cold rains that was really messing up my worksite. About halfway through that day, Bob shows up with a truckload of plastic tarps - all the store had for sure - and we threw 'em over the house for a quick fix. It did more for my spirits than anything. With guys like that on your side, life was quite a bit more enjoyable. I'm gonna miss his old predictable lines...'How's the car running?' or 'Boy, that's good...you could eat the dogsh** out of that, couldn't ya?' I also remember that smile on his face after he decided to retire from his job early. He had lots of friends, and I think work just cut into his visiting time. I also remember him and my brother Brian playing guitars Sundays at Gramma Bonnie's; I think one of the songs went something like 'We were hunting ducks...ducks so thick we used rakes instead of guns.' Miss ya, Bob.

MIX105

2006-03-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

Ok, I sold my first gift certificate on the radio last week! Mix105 is a station based in Luck, WI. They do a weekly on-air auction of goods and services of local businesses. The caller last week got an hour of massage for only $35. Can you believe that? Check it out at www.mix105.ws before the word gets out, because it is an auction!

Another recent development is that I will be available for massage at Bont Chiropractic in St Croix Falls on Mondays and Wednesdays. Give them a call at 715-483-3913 to book an appointment.

The Stretch Reflex

2006-03-01T07:03:00.000-08:00

People often ask me 'What makes you different from this other therapist?' I sometimes get into a long ramble about how as a human being with my own unique life experiences, everything about me makes me different from someone else, but then hopefully I snap out of it and answer what they really want to know. What they really want to know is 'Am I going to be wasting my money with you?' Or, 'What is so good about your style of massage?' So I try to boil it down for them, without letting my ego get in the way. (I have a healthy ego, which is really just confidence in what I do, but it can be read the wrong way sometimes.) I tell them that I was trained at a school where anatomy and physiology were emphasized. I tell them I've got strong hands. I tell them I have a caring touch. I tell them I have used massage to maintain my own health. I tell them I have been trained by the best sports massage therapists about assessing soft tissue injuries. But none of this necessarily makes me different from anyone else.

What makes me different is that I'm willing to use all of this knowledge to eliminate the guesswork during massage, saving people's time and money. I also get results for my clients. One of the main reasons I get results is that I learned about the Stretch Reflex. It's taught in anatomy and physiology, but not all massage schools have this class. And even if they do, most students don't think it's important. But it is, because in order to relieve muscle tension, you first have to know what makes muscles tight and painful. The average massage therapist does what's called a 'full body' massage no matter where you are tight. Or worse yet, they get tired of doing generic 'full body' massages and try to still please clients by hammering away on isolated areas where the client says it hurts. Both approaches are mistakes if attempting to treat muscle tension properly. The first style, full body, is just a shotgun approach. Every once in a while, the therapist finds a trigger point, and if you say it feels good, they may even give you a little extra time there, but that's the extent of their knowledge. Then it's back to the full body routine. The latter style, hammering on sore, overstretched muscles can actually cause more damage. What I have learned while studying the Stretch Reflex is that the body will not be forced into a state of relaxation. It's a physiological fact.

When a muscle is elongated past a certain safe limit, the Stretch Reflex will contract the muscle in order to try and prevent muscle fibers from being torn. This is a survival instinct. Anyone who has been in a life or death situation knows that survival instincts are VERY strong. I will not fight the Stretch Reflex, because it is a losing battle, and a waste of the client's time and money. Instead, I use neuromuscular techniques to coax the contracted muscles to relax (which are usually not located where the pain is) , letting the painful, overstretched muscles regain their normal length and tone. If this is done regularly for a while, the body may begin to remember how to hold the relaxed pattern, creating a kind of muscle memory. I will also teach you ways to maintain the relaxed state. This approach requires more knowledge of which muscle groups balance each other, and how the body will react if it senses a damaging force. I have this knowledge, and want to pass it along to you. That's what makes me different.

Time to go

2006-02-22T18:25:00.000-08:00

So there I was, chomping on a cheeseburger and fries, reading the paper, slowly killing myself with bad news and McDonalds beef fat. Something I do every couple of weeks for some reason. Guilty pleasure maybe, but I tend to think it's just a bad habit. Anyway, I got a visit from the mint lady just as I was sitting down. I took a mint, said 'Thanks' and started my downward spiral. I read about the Austrian ski team fiasco, the UAE port management uproar, and a few other big nothings. I wasn't even into my second cup of coke when the mint lady stopped back. At first, I think, 'What, you got some new product in your basket?' But luckily my second thought was 'Oh, senior citizen.' So I took another mint. I actually wondered if it might be a signal to clear out, like the lights flickering at closing time. That's me in a nutshell. I probably could've tried to say something funny, or struck up a conversation, but I was there for a purpose. And no mint-pushing grandmother was going to pull me out of my tailspin. So I have an extra mint in my coat pocket now. I'll think I'll save it for the next time; maybe she'll laugh if I put it in her basket when she swings by.

Good soup

2006-02-20T06:16:00.000-08:00

I spent Saturday evening at an open mic event. It is held by a therapist friend who shares a building with a coffee shop. The coffee shop is known for its soups, so I tried the Italian coconut and shrimp soup. Holy cow! I really didn't know what I was in for, being a bachelor, living on my own weak attempts at potato soup; but this stuff was so good, I didn't feel worthy! It probably helped that it had been below 10 degrees for the past two days, but I took my time with this soup. I got to know it. Almost wanted to turn the entree back in and get more soup! If you want to know where this was, email me, and I'll tell you. Otherwise, I gotta keep this a secret! More soup for me!

Oh, I should also mention that I met someone there who had busted her arm just below the wrist 2 months ago. She was in need of some massage, since the bones had healed, but the swelling was still present in the hand. So I showed her where to start. Her shoulder was very tense from being in a sling too long. Then we got the bicep warmed up. She was ecstatic. I did all the massage between the heart and the fracture, and left the hand alone, since it was still swollen. If hospitals only knew how many people they would help with massage, I'm sure they'd get on board. But I say screw 'em. The people will find me, and that's what counts. Massage is for the masses, not only those who can afford 'health care.'

Drugs

2006-02-16T12:41:00.000-08:00

There I was, sticking two stamps on every postcard (Thanks USPS, for raising rates before getting the new stamps out - where's the sense in that?), when two senior citizens start a discussion about prescription drugs. Boy, one of these guys was a well-educated expert on the subject. I suppose you had better be at that age, but they were laughing about how some study found that 60% of doctors who write out prescriptions don't know what they are writing. Now that's as far as it went, so I didn't get the meat of that study, but there was another stat he had that also caught my attention. Something like 4800 deaths a year caused by prescribed drugs. I'm not totally against drugs, but it does seem like more money out to spent on the 'back-end' administering this stuff instead of just dumping money into the 'front-end' efforts to get into the market. Luckily, there are people like my mom who make their living making sure people aren't risking their lives with the stuff they're taking. And my massage business would definitely benefit if a few more pain killers were taken off the market, but it's just too damn easy to get the dope, isn't it?

No easy answers here; it's just about as bad as weaning people of off oil. But I thought it was funny how the two seniors ended their conversation. 'Be better off going to the horse doctor!' I should've handed them each a card, but I was too busy sticking one-cent stamps on my postcards!

Lack of Energy

2006-02-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

Where to start. Peak oil, low-energy nuclear reaction, or just that tired feeling I get when I think of all the energy and resources wasted on outdated technology just because the fat cats want to keep their cup running over.

First of all, peak oil is not new. Sure, the teenagers whining about it now as they fill up their suv's to go cruising may think it's a new idea, but it's not. It's just that now the idea has a catchy moniker. Peak. Ooooh. It's all downhill from there. Yikes. The fact is, kiddies, it was a finite resource all along.

As for resources that are far from finite, study cold fusion. (More favorably termed low energy nuclear reactions) Unfortunately, a lot of back-stabbing goes on when someone threatens the powers that be in the energy world. Hot-fusion has been the glutton here for many years, along with other strategies that car makers have adopted to call themselves 'green.' The problem with any of these energy strategies is that they use gobs of energy to get to the resulting 'green' energy. They just hide the waste better.

In cycling, many of us have found that there is a certain amount of energy we can put out. It is finite. There is little point in cramming more effort into the equation. What works, however, is learning how to remove the obstacles preventing one from attaining that maximum output. You lighten your bike, you reshape your aerodynamics, and you quit eating junk. It's time for America to do the same.

Stretching and You

2006-02-08T11:41:00.000-08:00

As a massage therapist, I am trained to lengthen soft tissue, giving your body flexibility. It is much like stretching you can do yourself, if taught properly. The problem is when were you ever taught how to stretch properly for your specific tension patterns? I wasn't, and that's probably how I wound up with migraines 15 years ago. Massage has gotten rid of that problem, and stretching keeps it from recurring.

Generally, people think that if they stretch the muscle that hurts, the problem will be solved. It can actually feel good for the short term, but it is only creating a chronic problem. The painful, overstretched muscle, if stretched more, will allow the tighter antagonist muscles to become shorter and tighter. Take the low back, for example. Bending forward or lifting a leg while in the shower may feel good, but you are just stretching out overstretched muscles for a quick fix. Some people have been told that the abdominal muscles need to be strengthened to support the low back. True to a point, but this is all they've been told, and they run off to do 100 sit-ups a day, wondering why the low back pain doesn't go away. What most people don't know is how they are tightening a couple of very strong muscles beneath the abs that are undermining their efforts to create a healthier back. This commonly tight muscle group is named the iliopsoas, and if you know how to stretch this area, you will alleviate much of the tension put on the lumbar vertebrae, eliminating pain there.

I even know massage therapists who do not believe in stretching. Perhaps they have never been taught how to do it. The fact is, a time-tested technique has been used with athletes for decades now. It involves locating the tight, shortened muscles, and using the body's own neuromuscular signals against this tension to achieve balance and flexibility.

When I use this technique with my new clients, they get a look on their face like they've never felt so relieved. And most of them wonder how it can be so pain-free. The simple truth is they've been seeing therapists who believe in the 'no pain, no gain' theory, and that doesn't work with massage. Psst, that's a muscle building mantra. You can do that with exercise on your own. When you need to relax, come see me.

Mix105

2006-02-07T12:59:00.000-08:00

I spent a day at the Mix105 Women's Expo in Amery last weekend, introducing more people to my style of massage. Thanks to Kurt and Heather, I was able to sign up just days before the event. It started out slow, but as everyone began tearing down their booths 6 hours later, I still had people waiting for my table. I had a chair and table available, but anyone who knows massage knows that the chair was invented for convenience, not long-lasting therapy. So I try to bring my table to all events.

Speaking of Mix105, a radio station based in Luck, they are auctioning off my services on their weekly Wednesday auctions at 10 am...Do I hear a bid?

Oh, and thanks to Angie at Peace Lutheran for letting me set up at her retreat the weekend before. That was a nice venue, and I met a local business manager who wants his staff to try chair massage too! Now that's my kind of boss. Thanks, John.

I hope to start working again on all my cycling buddies pretty soon, since the base miles should be stacking up by now. You guys hurting yet?

What am I getting into now...

2006-02-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

So I decided to get with it, and start spewing my opinions all over the net. I hope I'll have enough gumption to give a Cronkite-esque view of the world as I see it. Of course, I will rely on my bolder readers to let me know when I've lost my mind, as I am an introvert by nature, and not easily swayed by events external to my own little world.

I wish this blog stuff was around when I was building my geodesic dome ten years ago. I had lots to say and many pics to post while that was going on, but there was no easy way to do it. I guess we all have times when we wish the past was documented a little bit better, right? Well, unless you're a president with a heavy hand!