Quercus alba

I have been studying a funny-looking growth on one of my white oaks this spring. Now, I'm no master gardener, but I do know a few people who have taken plants pretty seriously, and none of them know what the growth is.

So I have sent the question to the local extension master gardener to see if my oak is coming down with something. The growth looks like a flower (fluffy white with red specks) and is about the size of a golf ball, but I haven't seen this in the ten years I've lived next to this tree. (I thought we knew each other!)

Quercus. Hmm, I wonder if that's allowed in Scrabble. Want to take a swing(ed) at that, SuperRookie?

wankers

So I'm a bit busy lately, which is good for me, but bad for blog readers. (Do I even have any blog readers?) But I had to blog this event that occurred today.

Tom answering phone: 'Hello, Body of Knowledge Massage, this is Tom.'

Caller (Male): 'Uh, yeah, do you do anything more than therapeutic massage?'

Tom: 'More?'

Caller: 'Yeah, like erotic or anything?'

Tom: 'No!'

Caller: 'Ok, well I 'm looking for something more. Thank you.'


As I hang up the phone laughing, I realize how screwed up this world is. I think what he meant to say was 'Do you offer anything LESS than therapeutic massage?' But hey, who am I to judge, right? Geeez.

I also found myself talking to a single mother this past week about the meaning of a backrub versus a kiss. (My job gets me into some very interesting discussions.) She actually tells me the backrub is more suggestive. Where do these people come from?!?! Has she ever had a french kiss?!?! I mean, her kid is proof that she is well-versed in the language of birds and bees, but she still has this notion that a backrub is 'more suggestive.' I actually enjoy these discussions, because it helps me understand the populace, and what my marketing methods need to accomplish.

Tom Hagerty's Therapeutic Non-suggestive No-wanky-wanky Better-than-sex Massage

Thank you for your patronage.